


i've got you

by tonystarks



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Fix-It, Lots of Crying, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Stony reunion, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony can't sleep, lots of stony fluff, mostly steve's pov, the sad kind, they both just need to cry everything out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 01:07:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14557533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonystarks/pseuds/tonystarks
Summary: Steve's heart jumped at the prospect of finally being able to talk to Tony in private after two unbearable years. He hoped it would've been over coffee instead, in the really good bakery just down the street from where the Avengers Tower used to be in New York City. He didn't think it would be in a recently war-torn country where both of them were literally drained both mentally and physically.But, hey, he'll take what he can get.





	i've got you

Steve doesn’t know how long he’s been staring out one of the huge windows in Wakanda’s palace, watching as the sun set over the horizon. T’Challa once told him that the sunsets in Wakanda were the most beautiful in the world, and Steve didn’t doubt it for a second. Shades and hues of orange, yellow and pink mingled together in the wide Wakandan sky, setting a glow over the city that made it look so peaceful and beautiful that Steve almost forgot the events that unfolded the day before. Almost.

Steve’s chest heaved with a sigh as he thought about T’Challa. Wakanda was now a ghost of a country, the air was now filled with unspoken tension, confusion and mourning. They needed their king. After news broke that T’Challa had been one of the unlucky ones, Shuri was pronounced queen effective immediately. There were no preparations, no lively ceremonies, no coronation. Most of the orders that had been given after Shuri was crowned queen had come from Okoye while Shuri retreated to her lab, locking herself in and forbidding anyone from entering as she distracted herself with new projects to keep her mind off the fact that her beloved big brother had passed. 

Steve’s heart felt heavy in his chest, resting numbly against his bones as he thought about everything and everyone he’s lost. He watched as his best friend, Bucky, disintegrated into a pile of ashes right in front of his eyes, murmuring Steve’s name weakly before he faded into the wind. Sam, his partner in crime, had faded alone and that’s what ripped Steve apart. He was alone, unknowing, and probably confused as hell as he watched his body fade into a pile of ashes in the middle of nowhere, thousands of miles away from home. When Wanda faded, she didn’t say a word. Her face was devoid of emotions as she held a motionless Vision in her arms, tears cascading down her cheeks. With Vision gone, it was like she didn’t have anything to hold on to anymore on earth.

After the battle, the team had returned back to the palace without a word on anyone’s lips. As soon as they reached the palace, everyone had left to do their own things. Rhodey, Natasha and Bruce were trying to contact the Avengers headquarters in New York to try and get information on how bad everything was back home. The raccoon was pulling out all sorts of gadgets that he had, trying to contact the ship that carried all his remaining friends in it to see where they all were. Okoye spent most of her time alternating between holding meetings with whoever was left in the Wakandan royal council, trying to coax Shuri out of the lab to do her duties as queen, and trying to reassure Wakandan civillians. 

Steve’s eyes felt heavy and he couldn’t remember the last time he’s gotten any sleep at all. Every time he laid his head down on the pillow in his room and closed his eyes, his thoughts and dreams would pull him out of his slumber just as quickly as he had fallen into it. All he wanted was for everything to go back to normal. All he wanted was for the voices in his head to die down. 

His eyes scanned the horizon once more when he spotted a quinjet entering his line of sight. It got bigger and bigger until Steve realized it wasn’t a rescue quinjet, it was a spaceship. Steve’s heart pounded in his chest as he grabbed the shields that T’Challa had given him and ran towards the exit of the palace.

Okoye, M’Baku, Rocket, Nat, Rhodey and Bruce were already waiting outside the palace, looking at the spaceship with more curiousity than defensiveness; and although Steve would like to think that he would’ve fought whatever threat came out of that spaceship with all the energy he had left, he knew he would’ve probably put up the weakest fight he’s ever put up in his life. He was tired, heartbroken, and fragile. He didn’t doubt for one moment that everyone else on the team was too.

The doors to the spaceship opened, hitting the ground in front of them with a loud clang. 

A blue half-woman, half-machine walked out of the spaceship first. She looked at all of them warily and Steve walked forward, standing beside Rhodey and Bruce. He was about to open his mouth to ask who she was and what she was doing here when he spotted a familiar figure limping out of the shadows and towards the exit of the spaceship. 

Steve’s mind went into overdrive and his heart thudded louder than he’s ever felt before as his eyes focused on Tony. If Steve thought he looked bad, Tony looked worse. His cheeks were tear-streaked and his eyes were bloodshot and the eyebags under his eyes signified that he hadn’t been able to sleep any better than anyone here.

Steve can’t remember the last time he and Tony spoke. When Bruce called Steve on that flip phone, he had nearly crashed into a table and knocked over a lamp trying to reach the phone. He had been preparing for two years for this phone call and he knew exactly what he was going to say to Tony, but Bruce’s voice sounded through the phone instead. Steve had wallowed for months on end after the fight in Siberia, thinking about how Tony was and whether or not he was okay. After yesterday, the dull ache in his chest intensified with thoughts of Tony dying before they even had time to reconcile. Now, the universe was telling him that this was his second chance.

Everyone let out a breath of relief as they watched Tony stumble out of the quinjet, holding on to the blue woman’s forearm for support. As soon as he stood face to face with the team, Steve threw his shield off and wrapped his arms around Tony without even a moment of thinking. This wasn’t a time to bring up old wounds. They had far bigger problems than who pissed who off two years ago. Everything happening here was all too real, poking and prodding at everyone and forcing pain upon them whether they liked it or not.

After a beat, Steve felt Tony’s strong arms wrap themselves around Steve’s middle. Steve let out a heavy breath of relief that he didn’t even know he was holding in. Tony’s hair brushed against Steve’s cheek and his warmth engulfed Steve’s body, sending warmth all through his fingers and toes.

The weight of Tony’s body around Steve’s arms suddenly got heavier as Steve felt Tony quiver under his embrace. Slowly, Tony began to sag to the floor and Steve’s heart felt like it had stopped as he waited for Tony to turn into a pile of ashes in his arms - but he didn’t. Tony’s knees hit the ground and he started shaking, his hands trembling wildly as he looked at everyone with a wild look in his eyes.

“Peter,” Tony finally choked out. He held out his hands in front of him and Steve stood frozen in confusion and panic. Natasha gently moved Steve behind her before getting down on the ground with Tony, wrapping her strong arms around his trembling body. Tony rested his head on Natasha’s shoulder as she let him claw at her back, gripping at her clothes and stutter incoherent sentences into her ear. 

“He lost the boy,” was the only thing the blue woman said before she walked towards Rocket who was looking at her with so much hope. Steve could vaguely hear the raccoon ask her about where the rest of his friends were and he heard her say something quietly under her breath. Rocket repeated the words ‘no’ over and over again, clutching his head between his hands before he disappeared into the palace.

+

That night, Steve laid in his bed, looking up at the golden ceiling of his room in the palace. After Natasha coaxed Tony into coming into the palace to get all his injuries and wounds checked out, Steve hadn’t seen him again. He was sure Tony didn’t want to talk about reconciliation after everything that happened with Thanos, so he didn’t push it any further although he wishes he could. He and Tony had far too much to talk about. 

Steve turned on his side and tried to close his eyes to finally get some much needed sleep. 

After a while, it works. Steve must’ve been asleep for at least an hour when he hears three raps on his door. His eyes snap open and he growls under his breath, cursing whoever it was on the other side of the door. It took Steve an unbearably long time to get to sleep and just when he thought he could manage sleeping more than three hours at best, someone just had to wake him up.

Steve rolled off the bed and walked towards the door, hoping it wasn’t Okoye waking him up to warn him of another oncoming threat. He was far too tired to fight on the battlefield and he knew he’d end up getting killed within the first ten minutes of battle. With a sigh, Steve opened the door to see Tony standing there. 

“Hey, Cap.” 

“Tony?”

“I couldn’t sleep and I had a feeling your thoughts were bothering you too,” Tony said lowly before tilting his head. “Unless…you were sleeping and I woke you up?”

Steve shook his head, “I wasn’t, don’t worry.” he lied. He knew whatever Tony was thinking about was keeping him up all night and Steve would rather lose another few hours of sleep than lose this chance to talk things through with Tony. He stepped aside and moved to let Tony in the room. Steve shut the door behind him with a click and turned to look at Tony. 

Steve's heart jumped at the prospect of finally being able to talk to Tony in private after two unbearable years. He hoped it would've been over coffee instead, in the really good bakery just down the street from where the Avengers Tower used to be in New York City. He didn't think it would be in a recently war-torn country where both of them were literally drained both mentally and physically.

But, hey, he'll take what he can get.

A moment passed without any words spoken between the two of them. Then, Tony lurched forward and pulled Steve towards him, Tony’s arms winding around Steve’s middle just like they did a few hours ago. Steve felt his breath catch in his throat as he felt Tony’s warmth surround him again. Without hesitation, Steve wrapped his arms around Tony too, his right hand reaching up to hold the back of Tony’s head, gently weaving his fingers through his hair.

“It’s been too long,” Tony rasped out, gripping Steve’s undershirt in his hands. “I was so worried that you…”

Tony didn’t finish his sentence, instead he pulled away and looked up into Steve’s blue eyes. Tony hadn’t looked much different from the last time Steve saw him in Siberia. His hair was shorter now. He had a few more wrinkles, but he still looked like the same Tony that had managed to wrap Steve around his finger all those years ago.

Steve shook his head, silently telling him that Tony didn’t have to finish his sentence. Instead, Steve pressed his lips to Tony’s forehead gently. Tony’s arms rubbed along the length of Steve’s back as he closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of finally being back with Steve. His Steve.

“I just want you to know that I’m sorry,” Steve finally said. “I shouldn’t have kept the truth about your parents from you. I’m so sorry, Tony. I never wanted anything like this to happen to us.”

Tony let out a strained laugh and let go of Steve, moving to sit down at the edge of Steve’s bed where the blankets were a mess on the bed - a product of Steve’s efforts to try and fall asleep. 

“Let’s not talk about that,” Tony says. 

Steve nods shortly and sits down on the bed, his head against the headboard. He motions for Tony to come closer and he does, sliding up to Steve until they were side by side, staring out at the wall in front of them. 

“How’s Barnes?” Tony finally breaks the silence.

“He’s gone.” Steve says, without a hint of emotion in his voice.

There’s silence in the air and neither Steve nor Tony know what to say to each other. 

“I’m sorry.” Tony finally manages to say.

Steve nods, unable to say anything else without choking on his words. 

The two of them sit quietly for another few seconds when Steve feels the bed slightly shake under him. He looked around in confusion, wondering what the hell was happening now when he hears Tony sniffle. Steve turns quickly, his eyes scanning over Tony’s face. 

He was looking straight ahead, but his eyes were closed and a stream of tears were slowly trailing down his cheeks. Tony quickly wipes them away with his hands, but that just makes him cry even harder. His body racks with sobs, but he muffles them with the palm of his hand. 

Without missing a beat, Steve reaches out and pulls Tony flush to his chest. It’s as if Steve broke Tony’s floodgates because the tears started flowing quicker down Tony’s cheeks. Tony claws at Steve’s chest, his legs twitching every so often as the sobs tore through his body like a hurricane.

“Peter’s gone, Steve. I watched him go…I couldn’t save him, I-I…I could’ve held on tighter. He just disappeared…I could’ve done better to stop Thanos. It’s my fault, mine! He was just a kid, Steve. I could’ve stopped it…I could’ve saved Peter.” 

A wetness collects at the bottom of Steve’s face and he realizes after a while that he’s also crying. He cries, and cries, and cries. He cries for Bucky, he cries for Sam, he cries for Wanda, Vision, T’Challa, and he cries for Peter Parker. He cries soundlessly until his heart feels numb and heavy against his chest, beating unpurposefully. He was a Captain. He was supposed to be their leader. He couldn’t even protect his best friend.

Steve braids his hands through Tony’s hair, trying to get him to stop crying. Tony’s face was buried in Steve’s chest, his hands grabbing at Steve’s shirt as his tears soak through it. Steve didn’t mind, though. He would let Tony have everything he needed so he could feel better.

Steve hated crying in front of people. When his mother died, he had waited until after Bucky left him after the funeral before he cried alone in the safety of his room. When Peggy passed, Steve retreated to his room and cried silently for an hour before flying to London to be there for his funeral. But, with Tony here, Steve felt his barriers slowly crumble to a heap of rocks on the ground. Tony was his safe spot and he knew he was alright here. 

“I’ve got you, Tony,” Steve whispered into Tony’s hair, brushing his hands up and down Tony’s arms to keep him warm. “We’re gonna be okay. I’ve got you.” 

Steve whispers this over and over again until Tony’s sobs finally die down. He repeats it even when Tony’s breaths slow down and he finally falls asleep. Steve shuts his eyes tightly, the last of his tears sliding down his tear-streaked cheeks, his hand still rubbing up and down Tony’s arm. “We’re gonna be okay.” he whispers one more time, this time more for himself than for Tony. He plants a sweet kiss on Tony’s head one more time before he finally dozes off into a dreamless, peaceful sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> so this was my first work posted here on ao3! it's a pretty long one and it's rlly sad but i needed some steve/tony closure after marvel didn't give us any stony scenes in infinity war! so anyways i hope you guys liked this one :) i'm still trying to get a hang of things here


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